Daylight Savings Time for Cowboys

In cleaning out old Word documents on my computer today, I found this very timely note I had taped to the door of my office on the first day of Daylight Savings Time in 2006. If you don’t remember, the chief reason, we were told, for returning to this silly system was that Indiana was losing a bazillion dollars because other states couldn’t/wouldn’t do business with us. A truly bizarre argument that our inept state legislature, of course, agreed with.

                     WARNING!!!!
Due to switching to Daylight Savings Time, just as our brilliant governor predicted, all hell has broken loose. I have already hired four more account executives, two account managers, one office manager, and one person to handle valet parking, due to the incredible, and I mean incredible, increase in business from other states and other countries.

1. People who wanted to sell to Indiana, but who had no idea how to do that, prior to Sunday at 2 a.m., have suddenly realized, since we’ve changed time zones, that they can now sell to us!!!

2. People who wanted to buy from Indiana have, since 2 a.m. Sunday, suddenly and amazingly discovered the Internet, e-mail, voice mail, the telephone, the fax, and the post office – items apparently out of their reach due to our backward state of not changing time. Amazing!!

I am afraid that you will be sharing not only desks, but chairs. Expect to work each day until 8 p.m. (that’s 8 p.m. Marion Co. time, not 8 p.m. of all the many, many counties that decided to change to a different time zone than here – hey, the whole state is all messed up again – way to go, Brilliant Mitch!!).

I realized this morning, at whatever time it was, in whatever county in the state, while the phone, fax, and doorbell were going crazy with new business, that my basic misunderstanding was this: Mitch, with his pathological (and suspicious) fear of gay marriage, was actually saying, all this time, “gaylightsavingstime” – now, at dusk, straight people turn into cowboys.

MAYOR GREG BALLARD'S UNACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO ASSAULT WEAPONS

The following letter was sent to the Indianapolis Star. They chose not to print it. It is in response to Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard's proposal to fight crime, based, in part, on the brutal murder of Officer Perry Renn of the Indianapolis Police Department. Ballard proposed more pre-school care and more police officers.  Period. But, he forgot to say anything about getting rid of assault weapons, the cause of Renn's death. Here is the letter (I also sent the paper the illustration.)

 Dear Editor:

Mayor Ballard’s response to crime in Indianapolis deliberately avoided a demand for a ban on the AK-47, the gun that killed Officer Perry Renn.

This murder weapon was purchased legally from Don’s Guns by the shooter’s mother. Ballard, Governor Pence, and city and state legislators should pledge to rid Indiana of this weapon that was, at one time, illegal.

I propose the following:

 1.       Call upon all Indiana politicians to wear “Ban The AK-47” T-shirts* in memory and in honor of Officer Renn and the other victims of assaults with this violent weapon.

2.       Join other Hoosiers, including NRA members, in wearing these T-shirts as a sign of support for our police officers. (The disconnect between members and the leadership of the NRA on such issues as the AK-47 has often been reported.)

3.       Encourage the media to step up, asking our political leaders about such a ban. And keep asking.

4.       Hold a funeral for the AK-47, once it is banned. I am confident that the police officers who attended Officer Renn’s funeral would be there, since they are those most at risk from this terrible weapon.

Let Ballard, Pence, and the legislators begin the push for the AK-47’s death in Indiana. I’m sick of living in a city and state run by cowards.