Saturday, November 1, 2014

Daylight Savings Time for Cowboys

In cleaning out old Word documents on my computer today, I found this very timely note I had taped to the door of my office on the first day of Daylight Savings Time in 2006. If you don’t remember, the chief reason, we were told, for returning to this silly system was that Indiana was losing a bazillion dollars because other states couldn’t/wouldn’t do business with us. A truly bizarre argument that our inept state legislature, of course, agreed with.

Due to switching to Daylight Savings Time, just as our brilliant governor predicted, all hell has broken loose. I have already hired four more account executives, two account managers, one office manager, and one person to handle valet parking, due to the incredible, and I mean incredible, increase in business from other states and other countries.

1. People who wanted to sell to Indiana, but who had no idea how to do that, prior to Sunday at 2 a.m., have suddenly realized, since we’ve changed time zones, that they can now sell to us!!!

2. People who wanted to buy from Indiana have, since 2 a.m. Sunday, suddenly and amazingly discovered the Internet, e-mail, voice mail, the telephone, the fax, and the post office – items apparently out of their reach due to our backward state of not changing time. Amazing!!

I am afraid that you will be sharing not only desks, but chairs. Expect to work each day until 8 p.m. (that’s 8 p.m. Marion Co. time, not 8 p.m. of all the many, many counties that decided to change to a different time zone than here – hey, the whole state is all messed up again – way to go, Brilliant Mitch!!).

I realized this morning, at whatever time it was, in whatever county in the state, while the phone, fax, and doorbell were going crazy with new business, that my basic misunderstanding was this: Mitch, with his pathological (and suspicious) fear of gay marriage, was actually saying, all this time, “gaylightsavingstime” – now, at dusk, straight people turn into cowboys.

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